Why does my child always forget to pack their school bag! I have to remind them everyday. We pack the same things everyday, why can’t they just remember?
Have you had this conversation? Either with yourself, a loved one or a therapist?
It can feel really frustrating as a parent to have to contantly remind your child to do something, especially when you do it every day.
Well, there are lots of reasons that they might be having trouble with their school bag and 99% of the time, they’re not doing it to be a pain.
Time Management
They might be having trouble because they feel rushed and don’t have skills to manage their own morning yet. They have to get dressed, find their shoes, brush their teeth, have breakfast, figure out what they need to put in their school bag, fill up their drink bottle. That’s a lot of things for little brains to remember.
And a lot of things for neurodivergent brains to remember
Don't understand expectations
They also might be having trouble because they don’t know what packing their bag means.
If you think about the instruction, it’s quite a vague thing to ask someone to do.
What does packing your bag mean?
Do you want me to to put in my lunch box? Do I need a jumper? I know you told me so many times what it means to pack my bag, but I don’t remember. I don’t want to get in trouble so I’m just not going to ask.
It’s hard for kids to do what we ask of them, when we’re asking them something they don’t know how to do OR when we’re asking them something that’s too big of a task.
Sometimes they just forget
They also might be having trouble with packing their bag because they’re genuinely forgetting.
Something else might come up, like brushing their teeth, eating breakfast, playing with the dog that pushes the task out of their mind.
So how do we help them well, we can...
Break Down The Task
When tasks are too big or overwhelming , breaking them into smaller more mangeable chunks can be a god send.
This might look like having a visual schedule that lists the steps and things that need to go into their bag.
Or it could look like asking them to go do things one a time.
Change the Environment
One thing I’ve seen quite a bit of success with is having a ‘school station’ or a ‘landing zone’ where ALL school related stuff goes.
The idea is that it’s easier to remember what you’re doing, not get distracted, and not get overwhelmed when evyerthing you need is in one spot.
This could look like a shelf in the netry way where your child puts their bag, lunchbox, school shoes, hat, drink bottle, and anything else they need for school.
Or it could look like a box in their bedroom to house all of the same things.
Change the Process
Mornings are busy, and there’s a lot of stuff that needs to get done before family’s head out the door. To help with that, you can look at packing bags at a different time.
This might look like packing them before bed, or repacking immediately after they get home from school.
You could also try having bag packing as the first thing they do in the morning, rather than last.
So next time your kid has difficulty packing their bag you can ask yourself;
- Is what I asked them to do too big of a task?
- Do they know what I’m asking them to do?
- Is the space set up for them to succeed in what I want them to do, or is it working against them?